Jack Shit is the son of Awe Shit and Oh Shit. Awe Shit, the Fertilizer Magnate, married Oh Shit, the owner of the Knee-Deep Shit Inn. 

Jack Shit married No Shit and they produced six children. Holy Shit, their first passed on shortly after child birth. Next came the twin sons, Deep Shit and Dip Shit; two daughters, Fulla Shit and Giva Shit; and another son, Bull Shit.

Deep Shit married Dump Shit, a High School drop out. Dip Shit married Lotta Shit and they had a son named Chicken Shit. Fulla Shit and Giva Shit married the Happens Brothers. The Shit-Happens Children are: Dawg Shit, Byrd Shit, and Horace Shit.

Bull Shit just married a spicy little number name Pisa Shit and they are awaiting on the arrival of Baby Shit.

Now you can proudly proclaim , " I know the true story of Jack Schitt."